“Dear Self…Be open to the many possibilites!”

Today I wrote my letter to my self as instructed by Ms. Sharmayne. I’ll admit–as much as I hate the group counseling session this activity revealed a great deal to me.

Dear Ciara,

You are amazing, you are bright, you have undeniable skill….BUT you made a choice that could possibly put a halt on everything you are striving for. You’re probably being a bit dramatic…but in real life, people don’t always look beyond your mistakes and notice your growth…some people will use it to hold you back. This is real and there is honestly nothing you can do about it.

This was only the start of my letter, yet it brought me to tears as I continued reading it. I made edits in an attempt to clean my letter up knowing someone else was going to read it…and then I realized there was no reason to clean a letter I was supposed to be writing to myself. At this point I realized this letter was bringing truth to the surface.

There have been countless moments where people ask me why I haven’t considered a career as an on-air personality and realistically I can’t give them a valid reason besides “I want to be the BOSS and my latest experience has been production work”. The truth is on-air is what I’ve always dreamed of doing, but to settle production would still allow me to execute the same exact goals without being the face of everything. Yes….its the safe way out, but when it’s all over I have a better chance of leaving with a job, without having to answer questions that might not even help the situation.

This was honestly my train of thought until I woke up this morning to a phone call from my mentor/Uncle/2nd Daddy…..(whatever you would like to call Polo because him and his wife play several roles and are like the right hand men to my parents). ANYHOW….at 7am Polo decided to randomly call with encouraging words of advice because he felt I needed to hear them. Isn’t it crazy??? He’s like an “on-time-kinda-guy”… What made everything even crazier was that his random phone call was later followed up by my individual meeting with Ms. Reid.

During my individual meeting with Ms. Reid, I didn’t talk about my letter or my real thoughts of why making the safe choice was the best choice because I didn’t think it was necessary at that particular time. I just didn’t feel like sending my individual session south to a counseling session–It was definitely unnecessary. However, in my meeting after discussing growth and where I could improve, Ms. Reid noted that she wanted me to stop placing limitations on my future. Now granted, this was something I learned while writing my letter….but I didn’t know it was something that others could obviously see!!! *YIKES* But now I knew, there was a need to step things up a notch….

No…I still don’t want to live in Utah for work or end up in New York at network…because those just aren’t my personal goals. However, I would like to work on a local level somewhere and be a face that works for this CUTE little peacock of colors!lol

Above all my lesson for the day was a message from Ms. Reid “Remove all limitations and BE OPEN TO THE MANY POSSIBILITIES…”

Today was definitely a day of random thoughts, emotions brought to the surface, and life lessons—-thanks to this letter I was forced to write by the orders of Ms.Sharmayne. Today was a long but productive day. Goodnight New York. 🙂

{NYC Day 30)

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